I’ve had a number of people ask me how I’ve managed to move house 31 times, across 4 countries including during 2 Covid lockdowns.
So, here’s what I tell them. It comes with owning one simple quality – a Resilience to Thrive.
Resilience is the ability to bounce back and grow through adversity and stressors…
…without the straw breaking the camel’s back. Yup we’ve all been there – at work and home – when life just gets too much.
When the camel buckles under the weight of what often seems to be the most trivial thing:
🐪 When our emotions get the better of us
🐪 When we bring our home problems to work, and back home again, (and the other way round)
🐪 When we see more of our weaknesses than our strengths, eroding our self-belief and confidence
🐪 When we’re tired, even burnt out with what work and life keep throwing at us
🐪 When we find it easier to see the negatives in life
🐪 When life runs away and we forget to find joy and be present in every moment
🐪 When we find it easier to blame than to take responsibility
This is how I felt when I moved to Paris in 2011. I was living in the most beautiful city and all I saw was ‘doom and gloom’. Too many house moves, new dentists, new doctors, new business logistics, new children’s schools, new neighbours, new friends, new change of address cards, new supermarkets and even new languages in new countries. Too much change, too many unknowns, too much uncertainty.
Stress levels were seriously up there. The camel’s back was broken.
Life is uncertain, even when you’re not moving house. Covid, fear, loss, grief, war, loneliness, increasing mental health concerns and a cost of living crisis to name but a few of the stressors we are currently facing.
STOOOOPPPPPPPP. OK doom and gloom over – there is a way out. All is not lost. I promise.
I woke up one morning in Paris and decided that I had to start thriving, not just existing, and the place this needed to start changing was in my head. I did have the inner strength to do this.
To quieten the unhelpful voice in my head, to change the soundtrack.
Following Paris, I spent a number of years developing and employing key mental strategies, habits and formulating a fantastic framework to make life stressors, unknowns and uncertainty EASIER and life BETTER.
It all sits around how resilient you are.
And what’s EVEN better, once you have begun your resilience journey, your camel get’s stronger and is able to:
1. Use optimistic thinking patterns on a daily basis.
2. Have a willingness to overcome difficulties and not avoid problems.
3. Understand your strengths and work with them (and to them).
4. Goal set with realistic expectations.
5. Focus on what you can control so that you can keep a check on your emotions.
6. Choose how you think, see and experience your life, developing newfound confidence.
7. Have the ability to seek help from others. It’s true, teamwork is dreamwork.
8. Learn from mistakes. (Yup we all make them.)
9. Live life easier and better, so you find joy daily.
So that’s how I do it. That’s how I have managed to move house 31 times. I began by looking inside my mind, changing the narrative and so beginning my Resilience to Thrive journey.
BTW – just in case you’re interested… a poll by online estate agent Yopa saw 40% of homeowners rank moving house as the most stressful event they’ve had to overcome, even more than getting divorced (34%). Moving house was also shown to be more stressful than both having a baby (31%) and starting a new job (27%). (2019)
So if I can do move house 31 times, you sure can live your life a little easier and better.
Begin your Resilience to Thrive journey.
My wish for you this week is that you strengthen your camel.
Cara – Strong camel in tow.
See more posts from Cara Cunniff at The Resilience Advantage.
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